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In this guide, you’re going to discover everything you must know before visiting a funeral or cremation ceremony in Thailand, including dress codes, what to do, and what not to do.
There may come a time when you have to visit a funeral and cremation ceremony in Thailand. This may be to pay respect to a friend’s family member or your own loved one who has passed away.
Thai funerals and cremation ceremonies are full of cultural and social etiquettes, much like many other societies around the world. But because they also differ from those other cultures, you should know in advance what to expect and what to do.
In this guide, you’re going to discover everything you must know before visiting a funeral or cremation ceremony in Thailand, including dress codes, what to do, and what not to do.
Contents
Key Takeaways
- Thai funerals typically run for three, five, or seven nights of monk chanting, with the cremation on the final day — try to attend at least once, and prioritise cremation day if you can only go once.
- Wear black, white, gray, or dark blue. Avoid bright colors, shorts, tank tops, and sandals.
- It is customary to give money in a white envelope; THB500 is standard for acquaintances, THB1,000–2,000 for close friends or family.
- At the cremation ceremony, you will be given a sandalwood flower to place near the coffin — do not pass it to others, as this is considered bad luck.
- Arrive at least 10–15 minutes early. Stay quiet during the chanting and follow the lead of those around you if you are unsure what to do.
- Non-Buddhists are welcome to attend and participate at a comfortable level — simply observing respectfully is perfectly accepted.
- A small wai gesture (palms pressed together, slight bow) when you arrive is appreciated by Thai hosts as a mark of respect.
Where to Go
A cremation in Thailand is normally held at a temple. In rural areas, some families hold a ceremony at their home and only do the cremation at the temple.
Many temples inside the city have limited parking spots. So, if you plan to drive there, get there early. Otherwise, you may not be able to find parking. If you prefer public transit, check your transportation options in Bangkok ahead of time.
How Many Days Does a Funeral Last?
In general, a funeral involves either three, five, or seven nights of monks chanting, followed by the cremation ceremony on the last day.
Which Day Should You Go? And at What Time?
This depends on the day and how close you are to the person who passed away.
- If someone close to you passes away, it’s a good idea to go to the ceremony on as many days as possible.
- In the event that someone not so close to you passes away, try to get there at least once.
Also, it’s better to arrive at least 10 minutes before the ceremony starts. In many cases, the ceremony only involves an hour of monks chanting.
Day One
There are two main ceremonies of the first day of the funeral:
- Bathing ceremony: This ceremony normally takes place around 4:00 PM and is reserved for relatives or others who are close to the person who passed away.
- Monk chanting: Normally starts after the bathing ceremony, around 6:00 PM, and is open to everyone.
If you are close to the person who passed away, it’s a good idea to go on the first day.
Cremation Day
Cremation happens on the last day of the funeral and is also the most important day. If possible, you should go on this day.
There are two ceremonies that happen:
- Food offering at lunch: This is mainly reserved for relatives.
- Cremation process: Anyone can visit, and it usually begins at 3:00 PM or 4:00 PM.
Other Days
The ceremony normally starts at 7:00 PM and lasts for an hour.
Dress Code
Here’s how you should dress when visiting a funeral in Thailand.
- Wear black or white clothing. If you don’t have clothes of those colors, gray or dark blue is acceptable in many cases.
- Dress politely.
- Men should wear at least a polo shirt, slacks, and shoes that cover the toes. Wearing a suit isn’t always necessary.
- Women should wear dresses or skirts.
Also, both men and women should avoid wearing bright colors, revealing clothing, shorts, tank tops, and sandals. When you arrive, a small wai — palms pressed together with a slight bow — is a gesture that Thai hosts consistently appreciate from foreign guests.
What to Do
Here’s what you can expect once you are at the funeral and cremation ceremony.
Funeral
- Arrive 15 minutes before the ceremony
- If you’re Buddhist:
- Take three incenses, sit down, worship the Buddha statue, and then prostrate three times
- Take one incense, sit down, and prostrate for the deceased one time
- When the monks are chanting, bring your hands to a praying position and join the ceremony
- During the water-pouring ceremony, put your hands in a praying position or touch the person next to you if they are of the same sex
- If you’re not Buddhist:
- Skip the Buddha statue worship step
- Sit down in front of the deceased person and pray
- When the monks are chanting and during the water-pouring ceremony, feel free to join. You may or may not want to put your hands in a praying position, depending on your own beliefs. Simply observing quietly and following the lead of those around you is fully accepted. Also Thai families are generally welcoming and will guide you through the process if needed.
After the ceremony, it’s also common to take a picture with the family of the deceased in front of the coffin and a picture of the deceased person. Do not smile unless the family of the deceased smile.
It’s also common for family members of the deceased to provide either snack boxes or food.
Cremation Day
There are more steps involved on cremation day. And the ceremony may differ depending on the province.
That said, it normally goes like this:
- A mourning ceremony where family members talk about the history of the deceased person.
- Robe ceremony; unless you are the one who has to offer robes to a monk, you sit and participate in the ceremony.
- After that, someone will distribute sandalwood flowers. Pick one for yourself, but do not pick one for others. It’s a cultural belief.
- Then, the coffin will be carried around the crematory site three times with everyone walking along. You can walk with them.
- Finally, there’s the cremation ceremony, which normally includes:
- A mock cremation in which everyone places a sandalwood flower on a plate near the coffin.
- A coffin opening ceremony in which a monk or master of the ceremony opens a coconut and uses the coconut water to wash the face of the deceased person. Only relatives and close friends can join this ceremony because it’ll be their last chance to say goodbye to their loved one.
- The real cremation ceremony in which you place a sandalwood flower for a second time.
A family of the deceased person may also give you a gift for joining the cremation ceremony as well.
After the cremation ceremony, the family of the deceased will be the last to leave. They will come back the next morning to collect the ashes then proceed to the scattering of the ashes ceremony.
Read our article on What to Do When a Foreigner Dies in Thailand to find out more.
What Not to Do
There are three main things you must not do when participating in the funeral and cremation ceremony.
- Dress improperly; it’s considered disrespectful.
- Chat loudly during the ceremony; you should refrain from talking.
- Pass the sandalwood flowers to others; this is considered bad luck.
Other than that, common funeral and cremation etiquette applies. If Thailand is in a national mourning period, the general guidance on respectful behavior extends to everyday life as well.
How Much Money Should You Give?
When participating in a funeral or cremation ceremony in Thailand, it’s common to give money to relatives of the deceased person to help cover the cost of a funeral, which can easily exceed THB100,000.
The amount of money you should give depends on two factors:
- How close you are to the deceased person and his or her family
- Your financial status
In general, THB500 is the common amount. If it’s someone close to you, it can be THB1,000 to THB2,000. Sometimes, the donation amount can be lower or higher depending on the relationship and financial situation of everyone involved.
There are two ways you can give money:
- Ask for a white envelope and put the cash in there. You may or may not write your name on the envelope.
- You can ask for bank account details and transfer money. If you do not yet have a local Thai bank account, international transfer apps also work.
Is There Anything Else You Should Give?
In addition to money, it’s also common to send funeral wreaths to the family of the deceased person. This is normally done by a group or organization.
Image credit: https://reeddelivery.com/
For example, if you run a company in Thailand and a family member of your employee passes away, it’s a good idea to send a funeral wreath on behalf of the company.
Alternatively, there are also “donation fans.” These are fans you’d find in any house in Thailand, except the bottom half is covered in flowers, and the middle contains a message of condolence. The fans are donated to either the family or the temple after the cremation ceremony.
What If You Can’t Visit a Funeral or Cremation Ceremony?
If you can’t make it, you can send a condolence message and some support money.
But if someone close to you, your loved one, or a good friend passes away, try your best to get to the funeral or cremation ceremony because it’ll be an important event for the grieving family. It is also worth having a last will and testament in place in Thailand so that your own wishes are clearly documented should the need arise.
Now, on to You
A funeral is an important event in Thailand. If you have to participate in one, remember to dress properly.
Other than that, do just as you would back home — show respect to those who are mourning and refrain from being loud. If you aren’t sure what to do in each ceremony, you can do as others are doing. Or just ask someone who’s sitting next to you. They would be glad to guide you through the process. If you are still settling in to life here, our guide to retiring in Thailand covers many other aspects of navigating Thai culture and daily life as an expat.
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